what i learned about manhood in my living room on saturday morning one day when you are busy enforcing the law or hunting animals you will suddenly see her the shape of her body the color of her lips eyes that stop your heart no longer noticing, you are floating blissed and believing drifting closer until you are close enough to smell her perfume and your last rational thought gladly gives itself away at which point it is finally revealed to be an elaborate trap designed to deceive and distract you from your manly purpose you shake your head like a dog drying itself after a swim shedding the illusion of love returning to your pursuit with doomed determination to never be fooled again what i learned about manhood on wednesday evenings at eight o’clock, seven central i will someday wear sweaters and smoke a pipe be married to an efficient mannequin who is very worried about little things i will be very busy and have a special room where i am not to be bothered where i do my mysterious manly things all alone except for the rare occaision when my knowledge of all things is required by my children who i apparently purchased in a store somewhere what i learned about manhood on saturday nights while eating popcorn there are only two kinds of men the sheep who live only to serve and the manly men, the only truly free the ones who are willing to kill for a cause villan and hero, near twins in likeness and both irresistible to women what i learned about manhood by paying attention on sunday morning i am a creative force by divine will i am only one rib away from galactic greatness one single cog missing from a majestic machine get your name stamped on one of those things and keep it safe and secure then you are a rocket ready manly man what i learned about manhood from being married not a thing there is nothing the slightest bit manly about being married there is, however, a lot to be learned, about being human