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resolution ( 31,556,926.9747 )

i refuse i will make no resolutions on one one two zero one one or any other one one let me tell you why in a laboratory in colorado government scientists carefully observe cesium atoms floating in perfect vacuum cooled to near absolute zero watching them vibrate, counting the cycles so we can know what time it is the international official atomic second is mathematically synchronized with the eternal hopeless falling of the earth towards the sun that we call an orbit flowers bloom babies cry shots are fired young people die leaves are falling snowflakes sigh blizzard mudslide fire hurricane baseball football baseball football around and around as the earth reaches this atomically and astronomically precise location having passed through the mystic barrier of the solstice as our bodies begin to recognize that the days are getting longer it becomes the season of lists we read lists of top thises and thatses and make our own list of promises to ourselves knowing that they will be broken still hoping that the warmth of the lengthening days will keep the promises alive long enough to make a difference ... because the worst thing the last thing we want is for the earth to be back at this exact same place 31 million, 556 thousand, 926 point 9747 universally coordinated seconds from now after half a year of blossoming hope and another half of blooming despair making the exact same promises like a lonely cesium atom resonating there and back and the only output is the single click of a cosmic countdown so i refuse to resolve today not because i will myself to triumph over the atomic and astronomical rhythms i neither deny nor defy the meter and measure of the cosmic cadence i do not refuse because i want to transcend or escape i refuse because i want to live i refuse because my failures are precious much too important to vanish in my hands like time much too beautiful to be mourned abstractly like the shortening days i refuse because failure is not the herald of the synchronized inevitability of time i refuse, and claim failure as key and cornerstone of the crazy impossibility that is life